Dec 04, 2010
by Glenn Lim
In George Bernard Shaw's classic Pygmalion, phonetics expert Professor Higgins attempts to make a lady out of an uneducated Cockney flower girl named Eliza Doolittle as a kind of social experiment. I was particularly intrigued by her comment at one point:
"You see, apart from the things anyone can pick up (the dressing and the proper way of speaking and so on), the difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves but how she's treated.
"I shall always be a flower girl to Professor Higgins because he always treats me as a flower girl and always will. But I know I can be a lady to you because you always treat me as a lady and always will."
The notion that one person can "transform" another has long been an interest of discourse in the field of behavioural psychology and recognised by counsellors, physicians, teachers and parents. The way we treat youth is subtly influenced by how we view them. If our expectations are high, youth reciprocate with corresponding behaviour. If expectations are low, it will likely lead to lower functioning behaviour and performance than they are capable of.
In light of the recent spate of youth violence and gangs, one wonders how such behaviour can manifest itself in civil and safe Singapore. Is it due to parental or family issues? Negative peer influence? The media?
There are various factors that help explain this problem but one possible, overlooked reason lies in the context of how our youth are brought up today.
While Singapore boasts of a modern and advanced society, young people struggle to cope with the demands of living in a first-world country, such as academic expectations and the value placed on knowledge capital. This inevitably leaves in its wake a trail of disenfranchised youth who slip through the system's cracks.
Society then puts labels on such youth for easy reference - out-of-school youth, beyond parental control, youth-at-risk, delinquents, offenders and so on. Even in schools, we have neat little categorical references for them, notably the streaming system - Normal Academic and Technical streams (remember the EM streaming in primary schools before it was revamped in 2004?).
While I have nothing against categorisation for the purposes of developing a more targeted and tailored programme for youth, there are negative effects of such labelling. Youth live up to those names and negative images we place on them. This further drives them into maladaptive behaviours as a means to cope with perceived failure.
The cycle is set: We see them as failures, we treat them as failures; they see themselves as failures and, ultimately, behave as failures.
I have interviewed and counselled inmates from prisons, institutions and halfway houses in my course of work and, without exception, their perception of how others view them goes something like: "They don't think much of me." Of course, this may not be true as a fact. After all, it is just their perception. But we can immediately observe the cycle of failure at work here.
AVOIDING TROUBLE IS NOT ENOUGH
So what do we need to do?
In my years of working successfully with offending-prone youth, I have relied on some helpful principles that inform our intervention programmes. These are some of them.
The "strengths" approach: As a philosophy, this states that all youth are success stories waiting to be unfolded. From an existential point of view, all humans have in them the innate potential for being good and doing good. We need to focus on strengths as a way of creating a positive vision for youth to work towards.
It can be in their areas of interest or passion. Adult caregivers can help youth tap into what they are good at by affirming their positive qualities and creating avenues for them to thrive. Research has proven that youth who work at their strengths experience a greater sense of achievement, develop confidence and exhibit pro-social behaviour.
The "remove and replace" principle: An absence of problems is not sufficient for leading a purposeful life. Never be satisfied when your child merely demonstrates delinquent-free behaviour. Young people need to also embark on purposeful goals - that is why adopting a purely preventive model in working with youth is inadequate.
Adults need to help youth identify positive behaviour and activities that fill the void when negative traits are removed. I have observed many juvenile delinquents turn around, not because they were able to curb themselves from engaging in vices but because they immersed themselves in new and meaningful activities.
MENTORS DO CHANGE LIVES
Many aspects of self-efficacy and socio-emotional skills are not developed in the formal domains of education. Having a mentor has proven to be beneficial in helping youth regulate their negative emotions and build self-esteem.
Young people model their behaviours and attitudes after people they admire and respect; character and values are best caught than taught. Youth learn faster when these traits are modelled through a positive relationship.
I know of a form teacher who took over a notorious class. Her students made the discipline master's who's who list for detention class. Defiance, truancy and fights were common issues she had to handle. The first three months was challenging but she persevered. She saw in each of her students a star that needed to be brought out into the open and changed her strategy. For the next few months, she forced herself to fix personal appointments with a different student every day during recess. In that short half-hour, she would eat with them, affirm their positive qualities and encourage them to do their best. She showed genuine care and concern.
In the course of the following semester, you could sense a change of disposition in at least half her class, many of whom exhibited positive attitudes towards learning. Of course, not all responded that way and a few dropped out of school. But her remaining students attested to the empowerment they felt when this teacher instilled in them a sense of self-belief and confidence in who they could become.
They stood their ground even when students or teachers from other classes looked down on them - the positive self-image these students embraced, thanks to her, did not permit them to accept other's perception of themselves as inferior.
I have learnt much from this teacher. And I am grateful to her, because she has influenced my own pursuit to make a difference in the next generation. I would likely not be achieving the things I am today if not for her because I was one of those who dropped out of her class that year. Throughout my long journey of failures, setbacks and overcoming drug dependency, I never forgot the words she sowed in my life: "You have so much potential to succeed in life, don't ever let people look down on you."
Thank you, Mrs Lee, for believing in me even before I cleaned up my act.
Glenn Lim is a youth specialist consultant and adjunct lecturer preparing for his Doctorate in Criminology, as well as a Commonwealth Youth Ambassador (Asean) and Singapore Youth Award 2005 winner. He shares his views on gang violence on Singapore Talking on Sunday at 10.30pm on Channel 5.
Source URL: http://www.todayonline.com/Commentary/EDC101204-0000196/Cycle-of-failure-breeds-youth-violence
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